happy kind child girl with down syndrome smiling near the Christmas tree
Year after year, the bar for holiday spirit seems to be moving higher and higher.
I think much of it started with HGTV, the Food Channel, and Martha Stewart. Music started before Thanksgiving. We are surrounded with gifts galore, multiple types of holiday cookies, unending social calendars, and outside decorations to challenge Clark Griswold himself. It is an upstream battle to fight the current of Holiday Cheer.
Consider for a minute what your holiday rituals were growing up.
Perhaps your holiday plans included everyone coming to your home. The kids lost not only their places at the table (relegated to the card table) but even lost bed space for those visitors. Perhaps you joined cousins and others for sleepovers on the floor downstairs. It’s those memories of the simplest of times that have stayed with me over the years. The true lesson is that an open heart at the holidays is more important than the open presents. I have come to realize that my memories have a distinctly ableist perspective.
But with just a little thoughtfulness, we can find greater shared and inclusive memories. We can, with a little planning, all enjoy caroling. The warmth of the fire, the sparkle of the lights, and the excitement of a forecast of snow can be shared.
If you are invited to be a guest, regardless of the host’s ability, offer to bring something. Help clean up, even if they say you don’t need to. Put someone else’s happiness in front of yours. To paraphrase Washington Irving, “…it is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality.” Whether a tiny spark or a three-alarm fire, find the chance to do a little something extra for someone. Hang around the kids…for they are the ones who share the greatest joy.
Holidays can be physically and emotionally draining. This can be even more so for those with limited endurance, sensory issues, or those getting on in years. If you ask, “how can I make the holidays more welcoming for you,” then be open to the possibility that a commitment to join you may not be assured. It may change at the last minute. Exhaustion may prompt an early departure. But include them, nevertheless. Giving of yourself is the best present there is.
Helen Keller reminded us all that “the only real blind person at Christmas-time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.”
UPDATE FROM LAST MONTH’S NEWSLETTER
We explored the topic of giving last month, and now, “here’s the rest of the story.”
December 11th, Wallet Hub shared their finding of the Most Caring Cities in the US. As is typical of their rankings, this is a multidimensional ranking using weighted metrics from a variety of resources. Fort Wayne was the highest-scoring city in the TriState Area (Ohio, Michigan and Indiana) and ranked overall #38 among the 100 Most Caring Cities.
Subscoring was provided in three categories:
- Caring for the Community
- Caring for the Vulnerable
- Caring in the Workforce
Fort Wayne bested its 38th ranking overall in the first area of Caring for the Community with an overall ranking of 19th! This subscore was derived from scores in 17 different areas covering crime, civic engagement, favors for neighbors, volunteer hours, and more.
However, in the single scored area of “Share of Income Donated to Charity,” Fort Wayne, IN ranked #1 of all 100 cities scored!
The holiday spirit of giving is apparently “present” throughout the year, and for that, we are truly blessed.